Things of Interest: July 2010

"The Real Damage is a new tool to help you visualize how much your purchases REALLY cost. If you owe money, when you buy something instead of paying off your debt the real cost of that purchase isn't shown on the tag. This tool shows you how much that money would have saved you, if you had applied it to your debt. In other words, the real damage."

The Perfect Is the Enemy of the Good

"Nothing is perfect and waiting for the perfect moment or killing yourself trying to ensure that every thing your hand touches is done perfectly is a sure way to not get anything done at all."

Use Fans to Get Rid of Bugs

Entertaining emotions: TV may be teaching us to overreact

Attack of the Grape People (funny@work)

One of the benefits of working where I do is The Fruit Bowl, that costs only 25 cents per unit. It is maintained by Heidi SomeLastName, and it has made working a lot better, because I can finally have healthy snacks. I was the one that requested it offer grapes. I had this IM chat with Heidi today. And as you'll notice, I believe that in chat, speed trumps spelling.

11:52 AM Me
Grape Alert: they are a funny color, but still taste okay. Well, there might be a slight funny taste to them, but how do I know that's not because my perception is altered because of the color and my being suspicious?
If something happens to me, you must tell my story.

11:53 AM SomeLastName, Heidi
haha... would you like me to eat some grapes as well... so we know for sure
?

11:53 AM Me
I don't blame you, or the grapes, I blame our uncaring, as-long-as-it's-good-enough agriculture profit mongers.
don't eat the grapes until you see how I am in a few hours or weeks.
but IM me every 30 minutes and check on me, and ask me about state capitals, so you know it's me and not a grape-me.

11:55 AM SomeLastName, Heidi
will do

11:55 AM Me
wait, how do I know it's you, and not agrape-Heidi? You wre the ones that brought them in, after all.

11:56 AM SomeLastName, Heidi
Juneau

11:56 AM Me
Security question: what is the name of the irritating horn featured at World Cup games?

11:56 AM SomeLastName, Heidi
Kellie brought them in
I was on vaca
something about africa?

11:56 AM Me
I didn't even say Alaska! I think you're a grape-Heidi.
The answer is vuvuzela, grape-Heidi. Good try.

11:57 AM SomeLastName, Heidi
i heard them for about 2 mins and had to change the channel

11:57 AM Me
true that.
for a few days Youtube had a vuvuzela button on every video, so you could add it in.
Next seecurity question, pssoible grape-Heidi: a stitch in time saves nine what?

11:59 AM SomeLastName, Heidi
stiches

11:59 AM Me
ok, you got that one right.
you're okay, for now.

11:59 AM SomeLastName, Heidi
good

12:00 PM Me
but we're watching you. don't do anything grapey.

12:00 PM SomeLastName, Heidi
hehe

When you don't tell us we have to guess (funny@work)

Recently one of my coworkers was out for an unspecified surgery. And that's okay: one doesn't have to have everyone all up in their business knowing what the surgery is, but I'm also free to imagine what the procedure is. Via email, concerning a collection being taken up for a gift:

Tell her I know how painful tattoo removal is, and that keeping butter on it will help. Not margarine, not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, just regular butter. Reapply every two hours; wipe off old butter with untoasted english muffins: do *not* use steel wool or a paint scraper! Also, I took $75 out of the money envelope, because I need new aglets for my shoelaces, but I’ll get back to you next payday.

Gotta love the 3-D copiers! (funny@work)

Someone recently posted a message to the wrong distribution list (a list having over 500 members). As follows, and make note that I am of the male gender:

Original message:
Ladies,
How do we go about ordering a new Xerox machine??

My reply:
First of all, who you calling a lady?
To address your issue: you don’t need to order a new Xerox. Just use a *bigger* Xerox to copy the one you have. Problem solved.

I recieved several emails and phone calls in support of that one.