Recently one of my coworkers was out for an unspecified surgery. And that's okay: one doesn't have to have everyone all up in their business knowing what the surgery is, but I'm also free to imagine what the procedure is. Via email, concerning a collection being taken up for a gift:
Tell her I know how painful tattoo removal is, and that keeping butter on it will help. Not margarine, not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, just regular butter. Reapply every two hours; wipe off old butter with untoasted english muffins: do *not* use steel wool or a paint scraper! Also, I took $75 out of the money envelope, because I need new aglets for my shoelaces, but I’ll get back to you next payday.
